3 Months - Update

3 months ago yesterday Chris and I mailed our application to begin the adoption process. It has been 3 months filled with paperwork. This part of the adoption process is referred to the paper chase and for good reason! I feel like I’m constantly following up on paperwork and planning on how to get it through the next stage of the process. To date this is what we have accomplished on the paperwork front:

1/3/11: Opened adoption bank account

1/7/11: Filed our application with our agency

1/15/11: Ordered birth certificates

1/18/11: Sent request for certified marriage certificate

1/20/11: Hired Social Worker

1/25/11: Requested our personal references submit their Reference Forms

1/26/11: Police Clearances for Chris and Amy

1/27/11: Physicals for the kids

1/29/11: Submitted 22 documents and forms to our Social Worker

1/29/11: First home visit with Social Worker

1/30/11: Second home visit Social Worker

2/1/11: Completed Hague required adoption education

2/2/11: Cinnamon’s (the cat) Physical

2/5/11: Texas Background Clearances received

2/7/11: Took Passport pictures for our Dossier

2/8/11: Got Chris’ Employment Verification Letter

2/16/11: Compiled family pictures for Dossier

2/17/11: Got Amy’s Income Verification Letter

2/18/11: Made copies of Passports for Dossier

2/25/11: South Carolina Background Clearances received

3/2/11: Chris and Amy’s Physicals

3/2/11: Home Study draft sent to agency (all Home Study docs are turned in)

3/11/11: Agency approves Home Study

3/26/11: Finally receive hard copy of Home Study

3/26/11: Mail off I800-A (Request of US Govt to adopt from China)

3/27/11: Write Letter to China requesting to adopt from their country

3/28/11: I800-A receipt date(should take about 45-55 days to be approved)

3/29/11: Got all of our Dossier documents notarized

3/30/11: Took Dossier docs to Austin to be state certified by the SOS office

3/31/11: Mailed Dossier docs to courier in Houston to be authenticated by the
Chinese Consulate

4/8/11: Authenticated Dossier docs to be picked up and mailed back to us.


Impressive, huh! Well we aren’t done yet. Next week my Dossier documents should be back from Houston. These very official documents (they have been notarized, certified by the Secretary of State in Austin, and authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in Houston) will be complete. Then 18 of the 19 documents that make up my Dossier will be mailed to my agency in California. They will review them and wait for the final document.

The last document is our approval from the US government to adopt an orphan from China. This approval takes about 45-55 days to get. We are currently at day 12 in the wait for it. Hopefully we will have that approval by mid to late May. If the government shuts down, the office that processes this request will also shut down. So, that wait time could grow if the government budget issues do not get resolved. Once we get the approval we will get it notarized, take it to Austin for the Secretary of State to certify it and then send it to Houston to be authenticated. Then that last piece of paper will be sent to my agency and my Dossier will be complete and on its way to China!!!! We anticipate that that will be in early to mid June (barring a government shutdown or other unforeseen delays).

We will have other paperwork to do at other stages of the process, but nothing like what we have been doing. It is nice to finally have the bulk of it done and be waiting on just ONE piece of paper. It won’t be too long now!!!!


Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

How Do You Choose Your Child?

How do you choose your child? I’d never considered this until we ventured down this adoption road. I didn’t have to pick my 3 precious kids. I didn’t stand in the nursery window and choose the cutest one. I didn’t read a medical file and select the one who had the cleanest bill of health. Nope, God just knit them nicely in my womb and they were wonderfully ours. But, with our adoption, it just isn’t that simple.

We are adopting through China’s Waiting Child (or special needs) Program and the matching process is quite different than many other international adoption programs. With many other adoptions, a family will receive “the call” from their agency that they have been matched with a child. Then they receive the child’s file with pictures and all the important details about the child. With the Waiting Child (WC) program, because the children have unique needs, the family reviews a child’s file first and then decides if they want to adopt the child or not.

When we started this process we talked with our coordinator about the types and severity of the special needs we are most comfortable with. Based on our input our coordinator will search for a child that may be perfect for our family. Many children are already available on China’s “shared list” – a list of kids available for adoption through any agency. Beautiful kids, boys and girls, of various ages with a variety of special needs. Some of the kids on the list don’t have any medical problems, but are older children and therefore more difficult to adopt out. While we are compiling our Dossier, we can be matched with a child from this list as long as they have been on the list for 30 days or more. More kids are added monthly and the younger kids and the ones with mild or correctable special needs are matched with waiting families very quickly. We have to have our Dossier in China (hopefully by mid June for us) to be matched with a new child.

So as we wait, it is an option for us to look at the more than 2000 children that are on the shared list that are currently waiting for a family to choose them. We can see a picture and read a brief description of their need(s). If we want to know more, we can request the child’s file and review a detailed account of the child – their birthday (often times estimated) circumstances of their abandonment, medical issues, personality, daily routine, and additional pictures. Then you choose - yes, we want to adopt you, or, no, you’re not the one, and they return to the list to continue to wait.

I can see why this is necessary. A family needs to make sure they can meet the needs of the child they bring into their family. But, I must tell you, this is one of the most unsettling things I’ve ever done. These files are real children that are waiting for someone to say “yes.” They have faces, names, personalities and in many ways they aren’t much different from the 3 kids we already have. So, it’s hard to say no – No, you’re not the one. No, your needs are too much for us. No, we won’t be your mommy and daddy.

We recently reviewed a file of an adorable angel that just turned one. To say she is beautiful would be an understatement! She is absolutely precious. I’ve poured over every word in her file so I could learn about what has happened in her first year of life. She was abandoned at a railway station when she was 2 weeks old. Her orphanage felt like her need was too severe and transferred her to a Christian hospice facility to die. The hospice facility realized a surgery would restore her and raised the funds to pay for her surgery. At 2 months of age she spent 2 weeks in the hospital for her surgery. No care taker was able to travel and stay at the hospital with her, so she was there alone. Wow - what a tough start in life! I read about her routine – like what she eats and when she sleeps. I love knowing that she likes music and she smiles and laughs when spoken to. She is wonderful, but sadly I don’t think she is ours. That is hard to type.

It isn’t her special need or anything about her that makes it so, it’s just that after praying and praying and praying about it, we think God has softly told us no. I’ve cried and cried over this sweet darling. I’ve prayed that God would lead the perfect family to her. I’ve prayed that if we’ve gotten this wrong, that he will make it undeniably clear that she is ours. But, for now, it’s no.

This part of the process isn’t talked about much. It’s a tough thing to go through and, in all honesty, it makes you feel awful and uncomfortable. I don’t want to do the choosing. I want to leave that one to God. I believe the choice has already been made and that it was long ago. He knows her and he knows how this story will unravel. Oh, how I want to glorify him through every twist and turn. I must believe that these heartaches along the way are for a purpose. They are to grow my faith, they are to remind me of the MANY children that need a forever family, and they are to prompt me to PRAY for these sweet children. God may not have picked me to be this baby’s mommy, but I KNOW he has picked me to pray for her. I may be the only one doing so right now. I may be filling in the gap until her forever mommy knows her and can pray for her. What a joy it is to do that!!

This process of saying no has left me a weepy mess the last few days. Poor Chris! It has left me with feelings I can’t explain and has re-broken my heart for the many kids that wait for a family. I don’t like the heartache I feel, but I’m thankful God is engaging my heart and aligning it more each day to be like His. One of my favorite lines in Matthew West’s song, My Own Little World, is “Father break my heart for what breaks yours.” I want to care about what God cares about even when it requires my heart to break a little. So, tonight I’m praying for all the orphans who need a family and I’m praying specifically for 2 – my daughter and the sweet angel I know so much about.

The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.
Psalm 34:17-19

Who Is My Daughter?

Who is my daughter? Where is she? I know she is in China, but where? Is it cold where she is? Is she cold? I really hope she is warm. I hate to be cold. Is she in an orphanage? Does she have loving people to care for her? Does she wonder where her mommy is? Does she even know what a mommy is? Is she in a foster home? Are her foster parents nice to her? Do they hug her and tell her she is special? Is she sick? If so, how sick? Does she have a heart that needs repaired? Does she get winded easily because of it? Does she have to fight to breathe? Does she have a cleft lip that needs to be repaired? Does she struggle to eat because of it? Is she hungry? Oh God, I pray she isn’t hungry. Is she in a hospital? Is she alone? Is she in pain? God, please comfort her if she is. How old is she? Is she walking yet? Did someone celebrate her first steps? Does she giggle with delight? Does it make someone’s heart sing when she does? What makes her giggle? Does she love music? Has she heard music before? Does she like to be outside? Does she get to go outside much? Does she know what love feels like? Does anyone stroke her face and tell her she is loved? I hope so. Does she have chubby baby cheeks? Does someone kiss them? Where is the mother that gave her life? Is she ok? Does she long for her baby girl? Is she awake at night thinking of her? Do we have that in common? Does she wonder about me, like I wonder about her? Can she feel the grace of God easing her pain like I’m praying it will? Comfort her, dear Lord. When will I see our baby girl’s face? Will it be tomorrow or months from now? Will seeing her face make the wait harder? When will I first hold her in my arms? Will she cry? Will she be terrified? Will a caregiver grieve her when she comes home with us? What will she think of her 2 big brothers and her sister? What will she think of Chris and I? How long will it take her to trust us? Will God give me peace from the unrelenting questions in my head? If not, it’s okay.

I have so many questions about my daughter and they can consume my thoughts. At night I lay in bed and the unending questions steal my sleep. I pray for peace from this, but I know it might not be God’s will to relieve me of these questions. I’m thankful for God’s word that offers the only peace from the questions. Thankfully, I do know a few things about my daughter. She is a child of God and he knew her before he formed her in her mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). God cares about her pain and he knows every tear she cries (Psalm 56:8). God is with her and he is mighty to save! He delights in her and he sings over her (Zephaniah 3:17). God will not leave her as an orphan (John 14:18). He has prepared a family for her and we are blessed to be chosen (Psalm 68:6)!

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Thank You

We are currently trying to wrap up our Home Study. One of the last things we need is our child abuse clearances from South Carolina. We read (on a China adoption forum) about other families waiting 6 weeks or more to get the clearance form back from South Carolina. Waiting that long would hold up our Home Study for a month or more. Chris decided to call the office and see if he could find someone willing to track down our forms and process them. He found a wonderful lady that went very much out of her way to find our forms and process them. Chris sent her the following email and CCed me on it. I couldn't resist sharing it with you all. I think my husband is so great!

XXXXX,
I just wanted to follow up with you and thank you for helping us on our journey to get our little girl. Your pleasant and helpful attitude is refreshing. Your willingness to take the time to help a family you have never met and likely won’t this side of heaven has been a blessing to my wife, Amy, and I. Thank you for your promptness. I know you had to track it down, when it sounds like you have plenty of piles of documents to work on. May God grant you joy, efficiency, and perseverance with your workload. Your part may not seem glamorous, but for every day you are able to shorten the process, our little girl will spend one less day of her life in an orphanage. Thank you again for taking time out of your day to help us. Thank you even more for speeding the journey of a special needs orphan waiting somewhere in China for a forever family.

With Respect and a great deal of thanks,
Chris & Amy

Isn't that so great! I hope his email blessed her! This was such a great reminder to me to be thankful for all of the people that play a part in this process, big or small.

So many people have and will help us along the way. I hope to be able to personally thank as many of them as possible. Some people will (and already have) helped us in BIG ways. We have the joy of thanking them - even when words seem inadequate for the gratitude we feel. Sadly, many people will help us that we will never be able to personally thank. Someone right now in China is my baby's primary care giver. We most likely will never meet her to look in her eyes and express our gratitude for the love and care she provided to our daughter when we couldn't. I can only pray that God will bless the many people that we will never be able to thank. Our family appreciates all of the help and work and generosity that has already been poured out on us in this journey. As always, we covet your prayers. We sincerely and humbly thank you for praying for us and for your intercessions on our behalf.



I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:6

One Less

This is a great video about Matthew West's song One Less. This is Chase's favorite song and the song he sang to our Social Worker during our home visit last month. ENJOY!!!

One Less by Matthew West (The Story Behind The Song) from emicmg on Vimeo.

The Happiest Place on Earth Has Very Little To Do With a Mouse!

When I was in 6th grade my family took a trip to Disney World. I’ll never forget how wonderful it all was! I anticipated the trip for months! The rides, the characters and the magic of Disney made it a trip I’ll never forget. So, with 3 kids in our house, we were excited to start planning our family trip to “The Happiest Place on Earth.” Shortly after Hailey was born we opened a bank account to start saving for the big trip. Even the boys got into the spirit and would contribute to the fund here and there. We were totally on track to go this coming summer. In fact, in January we set our dates and made all the final plans for our much anticipated trip.

We told the boys and, as you can imagine, they were very excited. We were going during Star Wars days, so Disney AND Star Wars – it was every little boys dream!! Then Travis asked, “Will we already have Mei Mei (Chinese for Little Sister) when we go to Disney World?” I explained to both boys that we wouldn’t. We were going to Disney World during the summer and we would be getting Mei Mei in December or January. This trip would just be the 5 of us. This news didn’t go over well AT ALL. Both boys said they didn’t want to go without their Mei Mei. What? Were they really telling me that they didn’t want to go until they had their new sister? Yes, they were and quite adamantly I might add. I explained that we would have to wait at least a year, possibly longer, to go if they wanted to wait and take their Mei Mei. It didn’t matter to them. Without wavering, they insisted that we postpone our trip. Chris and I were surprised. We know they are excited about this adoption, but it amazed us that they didn’t feel right about making this trip without their sister. A little girl half way around the world, who we have never laid eyes on, had already been woven into their hearts as a sister. Let me just say, only God can do that.

Then Travis said something that left us both speechless… He said, “We don’t want to go to Disney World without our Mei Mei and we want you to use our Disney fund to help pay for the adoption. I know we will get to go to Disney World someday, and it will be so much better if we all can go. Besides, I’d rather you use the Disney money to bring home Mei Mei. It’s so much more important. She’s an orphan. She doesn’t have a mom or a dad and she needs us. She needs us to come and get her as soon as we can.” I looked at Chris and we both had tears running down our checks. I couldn’t speak because of the lump in my throat.

My 7 year old son gets God’s heart for the abandoned more than most adults. I’m so thankful for that boy! With surety, he knows he has a sister that we need to bring home and he would sacrifice all he has to get her to our family. He has been to Guatemala twice, so he has seen what poverty looks like. He has played with kids in an orphanage so he knows what an orphan looks like. Is it easier for him to sacrifice because he has seen great need firsthand? Is it because he is young and less entangled by the unfilling trappings of our world? I don’t know why, but I know I can learn a lot from him. I confess, it is really hard for me to let go of the earthly things that so easily entangle me. It’s hard for me to let go of my “Disney World.” I pray that God will help me to be more like Travis. I want to be able to walk away from the thrills of this world without hesitation when God calls me to something more. I’m such a work in progress.

So, the Disney fund is now part of the adoption fund and the summer 2011 Disney trip is officially cancelled. Travis is right; we will eventually make the trip. Maybe it will be in the summer of 2012, but maybe much later. All I know is that one day we will be at the Magic Kingdom and the most magical thing of all will be how God loves me enough that he has adopted me into his heavenly Kingdom. The Happiest Place on Earth will have very little to do with a mouse and so much more to do with being with my wonderful husband and my FOUR beautiful children (wearing mouse ears).

When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably. -Walt Disney

China's Orphans

This is a great article about China's orphans.


www.china-adoption-online.com/lwb